The Adventures of Thotman

I happened to see a friend I had not seen in a long time. He was talking to a group about Materialism in our world.  How many, he asked, think we have poverty here in our little town? I watched as the group listened...he pulled out a page with some statistics about poverty in the WORLD.  Then he cited the numbers of those that die of starvation, a 500 dollar a year income figure and some other mind boggling evidences of the fact that poverty LIKE THAT is virtually unknown in our society. As I thot about the difference between someone dying in our community and someone who whithers away leaving only a skeleton covered by a thinstreched skin, hollowed cheeks and temples...barely recognizable as a living breathing soul, I understood his point.  

 

He mentioned the belief that our souls consist of both spirit AND BODY, and asked the group if we truly believe that God wants us to give of ourselves in a way that we become ONE with the poor...."the poor" an interesting descriptor of a physical state.  What does it mean to be poor?  What does it mean to be well off...ever the relativist and in his mind a controversial sort, I wanted to inject my thots, but refrained so he would complete his insightful suggestions.   As I listened, my mind fell upon a couple of cliches, and I rolled them around on my tongue..."Happiness is not having what we want, but wanting what we have"...and I asked myself, what if we end up in "poverty", how can we want that?... What if our lot in life for various circumstances is not an abundance of 'things'... Is our existance an effort to acquire an assortment of material possesions, big houses? nice cars? fine clothing? jewels, stocks and bonds, real estate holdings, businesses, degrees, education, and any other STATUS symbols like power or position available thru our church, community or associations?... What does it mean to be Rich and powerful?  Was the movie, Its a wonderful life, correct in its assersion that he who has true friends is rich, or was that just a feel good cliche?  If we have half a million, is that enough? If we have two million dollars is that not a whole lot better? And when we are exhorted to GIVE to the POOR is that not a totally relative ideal? Im sure it is a personal assessment that each must arrive at. 

 

I have for a long time, maybe since the depression of 2000 in which I lost over 1.8 million in equity and cash, to a trusted associate, pondered the value of my life and what riches I have or may yet posess... I have compared myself with others in determining what I can GIVE...at a time when my debts and the remaining aftermath have buried me completely.  I have always been a risk taker, and  I have fallen victim to my decisions as they crashed into economic realities far beyond anything I could control.  One day I could write a check for hundreds of thousands, and the next I might be emptying my change bottle for enough to buy gas to get to work.  I might have  three million dollars in real estate this year, and the next,  taxes due for hundreds of thousands, and no assets.  And yet, I had not really changed...So here before me was an obviously sucessful man suggesting that we need to give of what we have to help the "poor"...defined as either the truly destitute or simply those who suffer at their lack of comparable wealth in our particular society.  I asked myself as he spoke if MY SACRIFICE is what is required, or if ME giving up POWER WINDOWS on a car(1) will somehow make life any better for anyone else.  Would a man living in a 2 million dollar home affect the lives of anyone were he to live in a cheaper home and give his money away to those he was convinced were poor?

 

I was watching the news one evening when a feature came on.  A man and wife had sold their home their cars and taken ALL they had and purchased a hot dog cart and hundreds of thousands of HOT DOGS he could feed to the homeless under the freeways of Los Angeles. As I watched the man explain how he had sold EVERYTHING, I said to my wife, well in two years we are going to have two more homeless people.   She sat quietly and then said..well what are YOU doing to help the homeless?... Her question was akin to a swift smack up side the head with a 2 x 4...The fact was I wasnt doing ANYTHING to help the homeless..the downtrodden, the destitute or those who suffered for LACK of material possesions.  I employeed 100 people, circulated millions of dollars thru the local economy from out of state government agencies, took little out of the business in wages at the expense of my wife and children, so I could grow it beyond the small business stage.   With the two  contradictory facts before me (that giving away all one has produces new poverty, and the fact that I had done little) ...I decided that I couldnt withdraw from the cash cow such things as meat and hide, but maybe I COULD part with the milk.  I could be one who contriubutes the PROFIT of my lifes enterprise, while maintaining some level of acceptable subsistance...I think its been said, "sufficient for our needs"...I decided I should become SOMEONE who could give the amount that equated to that difference between WEALTHY and "sufficently confortable" ...rather than be someone who gave away so much that it would assure MY poverty.

 

I have always admired men like Sam Walton of Wal*Mart  fame, who lived until he died in a four bedroom rambler and drove a stock ford pickup.  Meeting him on the street you wouldnt have know him from your next door neighbor...yet he was worth BILLIONS.  Warren Buffet , now the richest man in the world, still lives humbly, and has anounced that most of his wealth will go to charity LONG BEFORE his death.  A surgeon donates his land to a universtity to create an endowment for students who could not otherwise afford the education...I have wondered if any philanthropic work will be required of any of the recipents...without insinuating that they should be.  

 

In the end the question is, how much is sufficient for YOUR needs...MY needs... Does the bigger home or the newer more expensive vehicle one man may possess, mean his needs are truly GREATER than the man who drives the older cheaper vehicle and lives in a much  smaller and less ornate home?   Is there a need for the man with any type of WEALTH to justify his needs to someone else,  who due to his spiritual make up and his emphasis on  non status creating accomplishments may not have such needs?  I dont believe anyone need  justify anything to anyone but themselves.

 

Have we begun to equate Gods blessings with the material things we cling to? Are our "assets" becoming mirrors to the state of our souls? (wealth can be seen as either a positive or a negative reflection)   I have at my disposal many assets which I view as inventory, which come and go, which are far greater in value than what I personally use.  My 92 grand caravan with 200K+ miles remains my favorite van not only for its usefulness and its economy, but almost as a reminder to me that I dont need to have the 2006 which I own, but will be sold to facilitate some other "project" which may produce "milk" for those in need.   I own or have owned a couple of mercedes and a lexus or two, but have never driven them as my  primary transportation vehicle, because they were more valuable as "milk" producers than as assurances that I am blessed...or to create in my mind or the minds of others some confidence that I have worth.  How much is our own image an indicator of our real desires to "help" the poor?  Is our image an enabler or an inverse reflection of that desire?.    I am not sure how it applies to me, so how can I understand it as it applies to say, the country club set, or the affluent professional, who will accept only the best?  When does quality become the compelling justification for our own comforts?  When does cleanliness become and excuse for, or an aversion to work?  When does future self preservation become an excuse to refrain from "sharing"?  

 

I suppose that I dont much care if eveything I GET in life is evidence of God's good will towards me....I find that in the more simple things, things like the beauty of our world, the children and grand children that grace our lives, and those loving caring friends who just want to connect their spirits with our own. Arent those the real pieces of evidence of God's blessings?    When we sold the 200,000 cans of food for $5  a can, and the buyers took possession, shipped and refused to pay us even a DIME...The losses could have been devistating, were I to use a running balance sheet to prove God's love was based on my 1040 calculation.  Do we have the government inform us when we are poor by some free lunch qualification for our children, or do we assess our own progress in life by a plethora of perspectives on our own lives?   

 

When a theft of over  million dollars by a manager caused a business failure, a divorce and nearly a total breakdown of the owner,  As a gesture of giving to ONE of many who are poor, I offered him a place where he could save face, make a living and put his life back together, only to have him steal from me.  I have often asked if MY giving labeled me as a target of those who would profit from the ATTITUDE that is required to help the "poor".  Some have said that no good turn goes unpunished, and yet concering those who are dying of starvation, I wonder if such expressions or fears are simply our attempt to justify our own reluctance to give something up.

 

In an effort to help the homeless, I set up a program some years ago called "pizza's for the poor".  It was a multi level plan in which people bought cases of Pizzas and Canned storage foods to be delivered to local area Food Banks in their name.  The donation itself was tax deductable and many in the MLM plan were excited because of the commissions they earned as the food was bought and donated.   One man expressed the dilemma best when he asked me. Do you mean to tell me that when I do this charity work I am going to EARN say...2000 dollars for myself? I COULD NEVER DO THAT!.   Yes I told him, that is how the plan works, but if you dont like benefitting from "charity" work, you can always dontate your cash to the food banks so they can store and handle the food.  He thot for a few minutes then he said.."WELL, MAYBE HALF".  it illustrated to me that we ALL have place where "concern for the poor" ends and "concern for ourselves" starts.  The unkown factor is NOT obedience to commands to help the poor, but in the sense of our own security in the world and the future. 

 

I have often hired temporary employees over the years, one such man was an alchoholic from Billings Montana, who came to earn just enough to buy his next drunk. I often took him to Arizona with me in one of the trucks to deliver the schools in Pheonix and Mesa.  Riding with him for 12 hours in each direction gave me a chance to understand the mindset of a man who preferred to be homeless and live on the street over the responsiblities and pressures of everyday society.  I realized that he was explaining to me, not only the difference between the homeless and the semi affliuent, but also the difference between the wealthy and the middle class or the upper crust and the working poor.  There is in all Wealth, certain pressures and responsiblities which can best be understood when you see a buiness man who has lost his egg farm, working as a security guard, living in  modest circumstances rather than the huge home he once struggled to maintain.  When you ask him if he is happy, it is often surprising to find him much more content with life without those pressures than when they consumed him.  Gone are the signs of arrogance or the bluster that were so evident in his personality...present is more concern about you than has ever been part of any earlier conversation... Somehow the character and attitudes seem to have been transmutated into a state that almost creates a different person.  I wonder which man was poor.  

 

I think that to every complex question like this one about our attutude about the poor...there is a very SIMPLE answer, which for the most part is almost always WRONG.   To every complex dilemma there are many complex solutions which we must ponder individually.  How much are Poverty and unhappiness tied together?  How much of anything is enough?  Where do we begin to suffer from poverty avoidance, rather than life enjoyment?   Why are some of the most wealthy people the most insecure within themselves?  Or as the Rabbi Harold Kushner asks, what do we do when all we ever wanted isnt enough? 

 

I believe that Wealth is a state of mind rather than a measurable count of what we posssess.  A mother who doesnt get word of her soldier-son's death until over three weeks after the fact, lives in a state of releative anxiety and contentment at the absence of bad news... which demonstrates it is NOT what we have but what we THINK we have, and what having that MEANS to us.   Likewise, we have all heard it said by those who lived thru hard times, "we were poor but we didnt KNOW IT".  In a society of comparative human beings who insist on comparing themselves with others in an attempt to evidence to themselves their own self worth and show value in their existance we see how far we will go to make life "meaningful". We often find that boost in self worth at our giving to the poor, of more value than the very  poor themselves whose lives we enable.  It takes a strong and secure person to find more joy in the happiness and wellbeing of another than in his own.

 

One thing I did not touch upon in this rambling...the idea that the most precious possession in anyones life is TIME...Sweet time... Being something we all have in equal measure, seems to be leveraged by the ability to avoid the constant pressures of  acquiring, possessing, or maintaining "things"  The oft repeated adage, when I had time I had no money, when I had enough money, I was working so hard that I had no time, illustrates this cunundrum.  I believe that for most people we find the balance which enables us to live lives of contentment.   The old famer with the pond on his small ranch living in a remodeled home in town, can often be happier and more fulfulled as he repeats his daily routine with his dog and small herd, than the owners of HUGE feedlots that are constantly under the pressures unknown to them before they became "big"...(a relative term) 

 

So I ask myself, what are YOU doing to help the poor...the handicapped...the downtrodden....those who cant do for themselves?   Do you teach them to fish or to you give them a fish?.  Is it possible that they will never be able to learn?  Is it possible that there simply are no fish in their pond?  Even if they divert their small ditch, will they ever enjoy the flows of water others do who live near, and can divert the river?   When is it wrong to be happy with the flow we have, rather than be in persuit of more?  Each question has as many answers as there are people...It is my belief that Happiness is not having what you want...but wanting what you have, only as much as you dont forget to want a few new things from time to time...one of which may be to share what ever it is you have in a way that it perpetuates itself for you and for those you have decided to LOVE...and help....  

 

In the end isnt our measure more about whom and how we love others than it is about what we do to elevate ourselves ? ...I recall, something being said like... those who will lose their life, shall find it. 

 

 

 

The Bishop called me in to talk.   One of the neighborhood boys had gotten into a bit of trouble and his parents werent able to get a handle on the situation, he asked me if I could go talk to my teenage neighbor and see what I could do to help him.  NO, of course I cant, I politely informed him... there is no relationship there, and if I just show up,  what is he going to think, that I have his best interests at heart?  I know him, he knows me, but really, even a teen can see thru someone knocking at their door pretending to care about them.   The Bishop paused, yeah I see where you are coming from...Well, he asked,  what do you suggest I do to help him?  I donno, maybe you could get him and one other guy his age, and ask them to be part of a class I could teach...tell them it is to get ole Russ to come to church...give ME something do so I will attend and THEN if they agree, I will have a connection, even a reason to talk with them about things.  Who knows, I smiled,  you may kill two birds with ONE stone.   The Bishop laughed and said well it's sure worth a try!.  A week later he called me and said he had asked them to help him in his quest to keep ole Russ on the straight and narrow, and they had agreed.  That next Sunday we met and I chose the kitchen as our classroom, for obvious reasons.   

 

The first Sunday we had "refreshments", a weekly tradition we have carried on for nearly a year now, which has meant some very relaxed and enjoyable lessons.  Nate and Tay were not the smallest class I ever taught, I had had Tay's brother Brock as the only member of another class I taught once, but this one had a completely different feel.  The two man class didnt last long tho, as soon as word got out that we enjoyed cookies, candy and or some soda-pop from time to time, new faces started just dropping in....gradually over the year we acquired two or three fairly premanent additions to our class.  Lanny and Clive and Kel  show up most weeks and the four of us would  sit and talk about life, faith, family and what it means to be happy.   One week I brought some spiced lima beans to "try" ... When they balked I suggested that THESE particular beans, like those in the story Jack and the Beanstalk, were magic...but these, I promised with a poker face,  will attract good lookin' chicks...  To jeers and doubt they all tried them out...a bit hot for one of them, but the others didnt think they were all that bad... we had no sooner tried them than the Sunday School president came and asked if another class, whose teacher was ill, could join us....in walked four young ladies from that class....SEE, I said, how great these beans work!...   Since then the class has steadily increased in size until now, we have about 12 young men and women, who come each week to share and talk and laugh and learn a bit about God and service and life.  OH, and to enjoy some refreshments as we chat over the events of the week and somehow tie it into the topic of the lesson.

 

When the phone rang a few weeks back, I couldnt imagine  why the scoutmaster would be calling me...Hey, he said half apologetically, I am kinda sorta in a bind.  Is there any way you could help us out as an adult leader at Scout camp next week...for one, maybe two days?... He then went on to tell me how he decided to call me. Apparently after sunday school the scouts go to priesthood meeting and tell him all about our shenanigans..."I thot maybe since they all know you, that you might be willing to help me out..." ..after thinking about my schedule, I suggested Tuesday or Wednesday...Great he said...Ill put you down for Wednesday thru Thursday morning....   And so that is how my "Return to Scout Camp" came about.  

 

I arrived at Camp Maple Dell in the heart of Payson Canyon at 8 am, and after a treck up Cardiac hill, I  arrived at the Seminole camp...I had just missed them leaving for Flag Ceremony, so I sat near the campfire until they returned.  As they entered the camp, one of them spied me and they all came  running to greet me as if we were long lost brothers.  After the High Fives, hugs and expressions of surprise, I asked them what grand adventures they had to share with me...WOW, It was like opening the flood gates of an emotional reservoir of joy....I heard about every event since they had arrived Monday and listened as they told about swimming in the ice cold lake, because the pool was out of commission....I heard about the food, the tents, the merit badge classes, the trading post, the cope course, the bugs, the leaders, their "Britannies" spears, which they had whittled... It was nearly time for the morning classes so I hiked out around the meadow with them, past the pasture, the and the Zuni camp, until they were all headed in different directions...I casually strolled up the Arapajo road until I arrived at the HOPI campground..were just 41 years ago I had attended my first scout camp....I entered the quiet campground, apparently there were two troops there for the week, but they had all gone to class, so I had a chance to just wander around a place where memories called out from the recesses of my mind. The old latrines had been replaced by more modern porta potties but other than that it was nearly unchanged....I found my way up to my old tent site, and looked at the tree where Sonne and I had banged our heads as we crashed to the ground during a fight... I sat at the picnic table in exactly the same spot I sat those many years ago and looked up at the names carved in the beams above....and smiled...it was still there.  The campfire pit had been moved, but where OURS was, because of the many years it existed there, there was a ring where the grass wont grow....I sat down on a log there and recalled the many hours  sitting there listening to my friends and neighbors, scout and church leaders as we talked about nearly everything.  I remembered the chariot we used to pull roger around after he stepped on something in Payson Lake and cut his tendon... the smoke bombs we had brought with us just incase we got to run thru another camp during their troop fireside... After an hour of recalling the many wonderful friends I had shared those moments with...wondering where they are today...sad at those who have passed on and joyous for those I still see from time to time...I got up and walked down into the gully, on the secret trail back to the heart of camp...

 

When I got down to the Navajo camp, It  had been...moved to the east, replaced by an Archery range. the Blackfoot camp was likewise shifted eastward so an arts and crafts pavillion could be built...other than that, almost everything was just like it was the day our troop 38 had arrived.   The camp bell now has a metal frame rather than the pole frame it had then, and there are a few more new camps , all named after Indian tribes.  But the feeling and the atmosphere is identical to what it was so long ago... I packed up my sleeping bag, pack and a few essential items and started  back around the gradually inclining horseshoe road back to the Seminole camp. When I got back, I got out the chess and checker boards, a new novel by Tim Hunt (The Volenteer) and sat down to wait for the scouts to return.  To my surprise, Cameron, the Scoutmaster, came into camp and we sat in the cool morning breeze talking about the fabulous expereince we were having.  Cameron is my son's age, and they knew each other in school, he is headed out to get his Masters degree at Penn State this fall, and is just about the most level headed guy I have ever met.  It was just a delight to spend an hour beneath the maple trees talking about our good fortunes in life...our families, our educations, our opportunities to serve, our friends, our occupations and our associations with those boys at camp.   I was simply amazed at his positive outlook, and the optimism our converstaion generated in both of us.   By the time the Scouts came back for lunch, I realized that if nothing else good happened, that that hour was worth every bit of effort it took to get there.

 

The rest of the day was spent attending activities with our scouts, watching them shoot arrows and guns, swimming in the ice cold lake, doing leather work, learning scouting skills, sharing the camp duties, and finally sitting around the campfire, writing the next days skit, and discussing the most important realizations about life. 

 

Finally it was time to unroll the sleeping bag and drift off to sleep under the stars in just about the most beautiful place imaginable.  I commented to Cameron, that it was just about impossible to even imagine the floods and tragedies, and wars and awfulness in the world when we find ourselves in a place so wonderful, so peaceful and seemingly so close to heaven...   The news of the tornado tragedy at another scout camp was in absolute contrast to the place we were.   The next morning, after breakfast, the young men left for the flag ceremony and I started back down Cardiac Hill, to my car..I stopped at each venue to hear again the joyous shouts and laughter I had shared the previous day....I walked past the Maple Dell Lodge, the trading post...the Bell...the Lake...in the distance I could hear the scouts doing a troop yell...the birds sang... the creek cascaded down the canyon....I loaded up and headed down toward the valley... What a wonderful decision I had made... to return to camp... 

 Where should the line be drawn between freedom of religion, as garenteed by our forefathers and lawlessness as practiced by the FLDS? (I do not believe that the main issue is a tugg of war between FREEDOM of RELIGION and criminal behavior...I think CRIMINAL behavior should be prosecuted no matter WHAT the faith of any criminal. I do not address polygamy (multiple legal marriages at once)  because the FLDS do not practice multiple LEGAL marriages..they simply have MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS simultaneously as do 68% of american society (including those with mistresses, those who have affairs, those who have children by multple women out of wedlock and Bisexual couples who have partners of both sexes...even at the same MOMENT) I believe the FLDS need to answer to cohabitation laws only as a secondary crime.
   
   THE LAWS they break such as SEX with underage girls (as opposed to unconsumated marriage to underage girls), ILLEGAL adoptions of the children of excommunicated men by other FLDS MEN, Illegal coersion of FAMILIES by expelling anyone in disagreement with "the prophets wishes" by use of the trust lands where their homes are built, ILLEGAL or fraudulent tax practices, Illegal or fraudulent WELFARE practices, UNEQUAL enforcement of laws based upon church position and influence, Failure to support ALL their children until age 18, Failure to educate ALL their children thru 12 GRADES by either home or public schooling, ILLEGALLY NOT reporting PHYSICAL abuse when it is ABSOLUTEY KNOWN...because of misplaced loyalties, ILLEGALLY CONCEALING DRUG AND FIREARMS violations from LOCAL STATE OR FEDERAL AUTHORITES, Failure to report births and deaths to STATE authorities. DISCRIMINATION based on SEX, RACE, or AGE, especially when handling government contracts (this includes allowing women drivers licences, INDIVIDUAL liberties to work or obtain schooling, and a voice in family financial matters, and freedom from any physical abuse whatsoever) THESE concerns IF ADDRESSED would be adaquate to protect ALL members of this society. POLYGAMY(or rather multiple sex partners) is not the principle problem (pun intended) It is the ability make transparent the goings on within the society. THIS brings me to the CRUX of the question...DOES RELIGIOUS LIBERTY require total PRIVACY from the world?...I do not believe it does and furthermore WHERE IT DOES REQUIRE PRIVACY (sacred temples or synogogues) NO Criminal activities should be allowed, NOT concerning drugs, abuse or torture, animal or human sacrifice, or other practice deemed by LAW to be harmful to society or individuals within society.
   
   DO the FLDS commit any of these crimes? SOME CLAIM YES...SOME CLAIM NO...so it is UP TO LAW ENFORCEMENT TO investigate WITHIN the LAW, and either arrest offending parties or REFUSE prosecute based on the level of proof required to convict. ALSO those parties within the society should have the rights and ability to sue civilly for greivances in STATE courts. IT IS NOT our right to reprogram them for strange beliefs. IT IS NOT our right to use government agencies to harass them or to deny them due process. IT IS NOT our right to use any agency of government for personal vendettas or destroy their rights to PRACTICE their faith WITHIN the law.
   
   ALL members of ANY religious society must be treated as INDIVIDUALS and NUCLEAR FAMILYS (consisting of two parents and children, or one parent with a financially responsible male for each child fathered) NOT as an entire community. EACH individual is entitled to the RIGHTS set forth in the constitution EVEN those outlined for criminals when they are charged with a crime. When they are NOT charged with a crime, they should not be punished by association with someone who has been, or even someone who has been convicted, UNLESS they can be legally tied to the crime as an accessory to that SPECIFIC crime.
   
   The events in TEXAS which trouble me are these. FIRST the CALL, and the ACCUSED were KNOWN to have come from outside of TEXAS, BEFORE the warrant was sought, and issued. The WARRANTS were excessivly broad in scope. (had secondary warrants been issued based on REAL probable cause for EACH family or house on the ranch been issued I would not have any problem with legal authorities searching the individual domiciles. The investigation  should have been LONGER and with more focus on the acquisition of evidence of CRIMINAL rather than civil concerns. IF there was TRUE IMMEDIATE danger for the children (and the only ones I can IMAGINE even MIGHT have been were those girls from age 13-17 living on the ranch) The CPS should have gotten JUDICIAL approval to remove or have them PLACED UNDER CPS supervision on the ranch itself, while the Investigation continued. I believe that the DNA samples and their acquisiton should have also needed a court finding of some sort to be admissable in any possible criminal proceeding. In the rush to take the children and have them reprogrammed (as expressed by certain CPS and local ministers) so many constituional issues were overlooked that it became a nightmare both judicially AND logistically (not to mention financially for the state of TEXAS) ONCE the investigation started, The state could have sought the cooperation of those on the ranch with the understanding that the investigation would not end until that cooperation was obtained. Orders to keep them from interstate flight could have been issued until it was completed. (the use of baptist busses in ANY removal deemed NECESSARY ONLY AFTER exhaustive LESSOR remedies had failed... should have been AVOIDED), and THEN parents should NOT have been kept in the dark concerning their whereabouts, nor denied supervised visitation, while the investigation and personalized service plans were FORMULATED WITH the parents. ANY interviews with ADULTS should have been in the presence of an attorney and if charges or arrests were contemplated, they should have been properly advised of their rights. It might have turned out that SOME were guilty of criminal behavior and would have been arrested and bound over for trial. It may have been discovered that there was NO PROVABLE criminal activity. In any case the STATE of TX would have appeared FAIR and JUST rather than as the bumbling IDIOTS they are.

 

One of the biggest problems the Texas CPS created for itself was by using the MEDIA to elicit public support in the initial phases of this fiasco, it set the stage for the FLDS to go to the media as well. By careful use of strategically revealed information gleened by law enforcement, CPS sought to wage a PR battle against the flds, and in response to the mental health workers who exposed CPS's incompetence and agency abuses, thus turning what should have been a criminal investigation into an effort to cover their back side. The claims by CPS have been constantly contradictory where as the claims by the FLDS have been orchestrated with consistancy and less appearance of deception. It may be noted that in the appeal of the third appealate courts ruling CPS misrepresented its ability to identify the parents as a PRIME reason NOT to return the children to their parents, however it was clear from their visitation efforts and the ability to hold service plan hearings that all the children were identifiable with some parent or guardian. In cases where a parent did not come forth, it may turn out that that parent is IN PRISON in Utah. Yes I am speaking of the children of Warren Jeffs himself. The children's mothers however or in the case of assigned children their "spritual step parents" as acting guaridians had stepped forward. I believe that any effort to claim a lack of proper birth certificates or other manufactured "LEGAL" obsticles in order to delay the return of the children by CPS further indicates its complete and utter lack of understanding of the principle problem, that it just plain"screwed up" But, since it has never been called on the carpet for its MYRIAD of screw ups in its entire history this is probably to be expected. CPS is still in a state of denial, and therefore is unable to cope with the implications. it can't even fathom that its prevaricaton is compounding the problem. It needs to realize that one more lie will not fix this PR disaster.

 

I have been observing a mini chess game being played..ON THE BOARD are the FLDS parents..and the CPS supervisors. THE HANDS moving the pieces are INVISIBLE, and yet MOST have taken sides...one callig the FLDS supporters PEDOPHILEs or ABUSERS, and the other side calling the STATE/CPS and JUDGE Walther the EVIL EMPIRE. A FEW of us who have no stake in this game have been hollering about the lack of Lawful behavior by both sides... the KINDRED SPIRITS have chosen to ridicule anyone not condeming the horrors of which the FLDS leadership is accused...as supporters... The FLDS faithful have been calling anyone who has NOT come to the defense of their FREEDOM of RELIGION "rights" , or who are cheering on those seeking to dismantle their little ranch and disperse its inhabitants to the four winds, tools of satan or godless enemies of truth...Those of us who dont give a damn about EITHER agenda but find in BOTH enough criminal behavior to choke a python, and see enough GOOD will by SOME on each side to say..I can see why they WANT to prevail...
   
   REALLY tho, I ask myself what about those INVISIBLE HANDS that move the pieces on the chess board?...WHO ARE THOSE GUYS???? I think on the side of the FLDS the leaders, many guilty of underage abuse, are defending a prophet who is in prison despite their knowledge that he is guilty, while RIGHTLY saying the rights of their women and children have been abridged... ON THE OTHER SIDE...the invisible hand are those who HATE the FLDS for a list of wrongs so long that it would take pages to fill. They include the ex-flds women, activists who inform themselves and now become "consultants" to the Texas Machine that carries out an agenda just on their behalf were it not for the many "christians" that hate the cults & who have supported the effort in the face of incompetence and illegal procedures. I have decided that I have LITTLE respect for EITHER invisible hand, and FEAR their desire to use ILLEGAL means to further their agendas

 

 

Fighting for a cause is for some a way of life, for me it just happens from time to time when I happen to see a particular injustice.  Lately I have been irritated that the wacko Polygamists in Texas have been denied due process and had their children taken from them by a Government agency which from all appearances,  is as bad as what the NAZIS did.  Reading the news and hearing all pundits tell us how it is REALLY about protecting the kids, while we watch a goverment agency trample the constitution as if it were a door mat makes me wonder what our country is coming to.  Even murders in our society have more protection under the law than those homely women.  I am shocked that it has gone on as far as it has, but I suspect that the religious prejudice in all of us allows us to justify the horrific actions and abuses we have seen over the month of April by the Texas "Child Protective Services".  Which brings me to my first story about  fighting for a cause.  

 

My Handicapped friend and neighbor who passed away just four years ago had four children. A very bright and wonderful first daughter, a son who it turns out inherited too many of his psychotic mother's genes, a second son who is a good and kind man like his father, and then the baby of the family, a daughter who is obviously not quite right.  I will call her Dawn... She has four children ages 12B, 11G, 8G and 6B They have all been grossly abused both sexually and physically by their father and by their mother who has munchausen syndrome by PROXY...meaning she hurts her children so she can take them to the hospital, or a doctor, or government agency where she becomes the focus of attention. I believe she has kept them sick intentionally for years and UTAH CPS has facilitated her abused by funding the medical care in excess of a million dollars.  At one point a social worker insisted that she come up with a FAMILY solution or lose her kids to the state.  She gave her kids to her brother and his wife who have three adopted children of their own.  They had those kids for 8 months in which time, they went from being the brattiest and most ill behaved children alive,  to being kind considerate and well mannered examples of what happy and fulfilled chldren should be.  I had seen them the day they left for another state, and I was shocked at the positive changes that had happened in the short time they had experienced what a real family is.   So I was not suprised when DAWN sued to get her kids back. I watched the gardian ad litem completely mishandle the case so that Dawn was awarded her children only to begin again the abuse which was garanteed to occur.  It was just after the case in which the parents of a boy in SLC had refused to follow the dictates of the Ad litums office which insisted on chemotheropy, after the court battle in which parental rights were reaffirmed, the outcome of Dawns case was nearly a forgone conclusion (by the way that boy didnt  have chemo and is alive and well today vindicating his parents views against our incompetent state agency.) So after tasting what real childhood should be, the children were returned to the woman who had knowingly allowed her now imprisoned husband to molest her children, probably even participated....,   so she could once again abuse them in her own way.   When I see that kind of injustice administered by a senile judge and an agency full of incompetents...  I want to starta a crusade and fix what is wrong... and it almost always has to do with "governement" and those in it abusing the power they acquire in such positions.   I know of a lady from Lousisana who lost her son to his grandparents after a divorce because of the grandfathers connections within the legal system. Groundless charges and false claims resulted in her losing custody and eventually going over 14 years without any contact whatsoever.  A travesty in a society which prides itself on the ideals of all men being created equal.  I am sure they could have justified it by insisting that this mother may have been a flight risk or by insisting that they were financially more able to provide a better life, but there seems to be a serious flaw in a system where abusers are given their children and good parents lose theirs.   I believe the problem is illustrated in its entirety by the TEXAS fiasco, where innocents are grouped with the guilty and the rights of everyone are denied.    Child protection needs to be on a CASE BY CASE BASIS... you dont cut off all your fingers because ONE is  infected... Neither do you use a thirty pound sledge hammer to mash your fingertips in an effort to  trim your fingernail.  I am becoming very interested in helping those who have wrongly had their constitutional rights denied them.  I want the children protected, but I believe it can be done without abridging the rights of those who have not abused their children.   The shotgun approach to child protection will make many innocents the ward of the state so beauracrats can keep their funding and their jobs, but it will be at the cost of some good men and women losing their kids, and others who are not good keeing theirs so they can be supervised by those same beauracrats... the cause is our own personal freedoms and the proper analysis and actions on the part of the agencies meant to protect rather than to harm.... I think keeping such out of control agenies under constant review is a good cause.   Currently we need to look closely at the actions of the TEXAS CPS and their methods...their deliberate distortion of the current action where 462 children have been torn from their mothers and made pawns in the "CHRISTIAN" efforts to rid their county of a polygmaist cult.  When will someone in the judicial system stand up and say...enough already, and put those who are not being abused back with their mothers?

 

The second story has to do with tearing down the old fifth ward church.  There had been two identical Mormon buildings in the city...the second ward church and the fifth ward building.  The latter had been upgraded and used for a city building for some years. it had two wings with a center enterance. The south wing housed the electric department the upstairs the council chambers...the north wing held a cultural hall with a stage and the senior citizens kitchen and dining hall.   When the city built its new city building which has been outgrown in the last few years, a new council and mayor took it in mind to tear down the old fifth ward/ city building so they could justify a new 4 million dollar city recreation center.  I believed that it should have been possible to keep the historic building while building a REC center when the time was right.   It did not require the same land, in fact it was proposed that the Historic church be leveled an turned into a parking lot.   I joined with the historical preservation committee to see what could be done to save the old building.  The EX Police chief/ Now mayor and two intimidating members of the city council had decided that the church was coming down dispite the fact that the building was on the state historic register.  They CLAIMED that the building was full of asbestos,(it wasnt)  had asbestos shingles and was an earthquake danger for the community.  (never mind that the memorial building which was made of stucco over mud bricks was being restored at the same time)  It was decided that a SURVEY of the community should be taken, so the city sent out a flyer on red paper which gave all the reasons the building should be torn down then asked....should we tear it down?   The Survey would then be tallied and the recommendation followed.  When I saw the "survey" I went to the paper and had a YELLOW survey presenting PROS and CONS of the issue and asked   Have you completed and returned the CITY survey?  Our Survey was legitimized by using the chamber of commerce as the organization that would tally OUR unbiased survey.  I asked the president of the chamber to keep the box in which community members could mail or drop off their survey. 

 

I discovered that the MAYOR and the president of the chamber were in cahoots however and that the president was opening the box and reporting the tally to the city before any official count was made.  From our results 75% wanted the building kept/remodelled and used for the civic improvement association, for receptions, small gatherings, family reunions, as a curators office for the museum, and a place for the arts council, various clubs and other civic entities as well as a play house and an area the city could rent for parties or classes.  The cost of remodeling (not restoring) the building with a new heating system flooring and fire control would have been under a hundred thousand dollars.   The Mayor and the council member who pulled his strings had their minds made up. I went to a council meeting to voice my views about keeping the building and to read the results of the Chamber of Commerce Survey, which statistically showed that the City Survey also supported keeping the Historic building.   When I made this anouncement in the council meeting, the Mayor cut me off and told me I could no longer speak, I continued to read my ONE PAGE letter, but he cut me off again and told me I could not say anymore, and called my neighbor, the Chief of Police to remove me from the meeting.  Had it not been my friend I would have taken a seat on the floor and had them drag me out... I went to the news paper and they printed the results of the survey, and commented on the events of the council meeting.  It was unclear what would be done with the building....that was unitl 4 am on Sunday morning when a local mining company moved its huge backhoe into place and knocked down half of the old church.   The Police chief was called by the councilman and the mayor and asked to place officers around the premises  incase those opposing the illegal removal of the historic church came to protest...how could we have even known?  This cloak and dagger middle of the night end run around the historical preservation committee was so secretive, I wouldnt have even known about it had I not seen the chief leave his house at 3:30 AM due to the fact that another neighbor had just had a stroke and I was going to see what I could do do help him.   The city announced LATER that their survey had expressed the desire to have more parking (which was not even on the survey)  The  Mayor then removed the best judge our city has ever had and awarded that position to a supporter of the "tear down the church" coallition of three....more of his typical good ole boy shenanigans... I think this cause became an even bigger cause....from fighting to preserve a beautiful old church with many functional attributes to the cause of stopping the kind of missue of public power so often seen in our cities and towns.   WE have an obligation to stand up to such complete and utter nonsense....to fight for the causes of honesty and fairness.   We need to fight for the rights of individuals to be heard, rather than bulldozed....or kncked down even at 4 AM while the world seems to be sleeping.  

 

WE need to remove these duplicitous and dishonest officials who would have their way whether it was the will of the people or not.  They pad their pockets, award the contracts to remove a building without bids...and feather their friends pockets.   I think its time to stand up to the "authorities" who are missusing their power...to voice our objections to their dishonesty and their misuse of power and be heard even if it means getting thrown out of their meetings, which are often in voilation of the sunshine laws meant to  preserve our rights and freedoms.   The cause then, is to stand up to those who would SAY OR DO ANYTHING to further their own agenda and require that they work in the LIGHT rather than behind closed doors where their decisions too offen deny others their rights while furthering their own narrow objectives.

It was a crisp October evening when I finished work.  I had seen a Lionel train in the collectable area of my local Deserert Industries THRIFT store for 100 dollars that I could purchase NEW for about $75,  so I knew that the price would be coming down as it sat there, that is, if some SUCKER didnt come along and pay three times the cost a USED and somewhat scuffed up MODERN toy was actually worth.  I entered the store and took my normal route thru the isles. First to the yard sale area where I found a 1950's hand drill with a burnt armature and a frayed cord that was selling for 10 dollars, a golf bag with a big tear down one side selling for $15 rather than the usual $5 because it had the name OGIO printed on it.  I looked at the sparce collection of straight skis and mismatched boots, a 20 year old dot matrix printer sat next to an assortment of used vaccums and stuffed animals and broken ceiling fans.  I returned back into the main store past the computers and monitors, one was running... windows 98 on a 17 inch monitor about the size of console television, a sign hung above it  "do not open the computers" ...Since that one was hooked up, I checked it out...hmmm,  a Pentium 2-350mhtz, no modem... not even good for email I thot, as I looked at the $30 dollar price tag on the computer, and the $20 dollar price on the monitor.   Another computer box sat near it with only a $20 dollar price, I wondered its speed, or if it even worked.  

 

I continued past the stack of outdated FILM-snap shot cameras and out of date cell phones, all mixed in a jumble, all marked between $1 and $5 mostly determined by the brand.  I noticed a calculator k-mart sells for 4 dollars NEW marked at just $5 right next to an HP 12 C with cracked display for $3...I picked it up and tested it.  The numbers on the readout were incomplete.  As I put it back I wondered why there wasnt a sign on the wall which read, NO RETURNS on electornic items.  I then strolled past the vinyl records,  and stopped to look thru the six stacks for something intriguing like a Monkees album or maybe a classic by the Doors...Unfortunatlely the collection of Slim Whitman, the Tijuana Brass,  and Firestone Christmas albums didnt strike my fancy.  I then passed the kitchen utensils and looked for a matching fork to replace one my mother has lost, and then I arrived at the shelf with all the flashlights in "pieces parts".   I noticed that one flashlight had what looked like were new batteries in it....So, I removed them and tested them in another flashlight...IT WORKED!!!  Ahhh and for only 50 cents.  Having found new batteries I tested about twenty flashlights and found a total of FIVE that actually worked. ALL IDENTICAL... Two were marke $.50 three were marked $1.00. I set them in my cart and sauntered over to see if the train in the LOCKED collectable case has been marked down.  It had been discounted, to $60 dollars, but was still about $25 more than I was willing to pay for it.  

 

I saw the "trainee", a new kid, with the keys to the cabinet... so I asked him to open the case so I could examine the engine and the cars again, still wondering if I had missed something that would make it worth so much.  After I had been reminded why it was only worth $35 dollars I put it back in the case next to the single lens reflex FILM CAMERAS.   I noticed a fairly nice Nikon N 70 AF complete with a bag, filters, intruction book,  manual, strap and cleaner.  I picked up the camera and tested its focus, looking thru the view finder. It seemed to work, so I looked at the price....$100 on the tag right below the view finder...I spun the camera around to see the aperture and there on the grip was another price tag $ 100 dollars  I looked at the top of the camera to see another $100 dollar sticker.   I thot to myself,  $100 is a lot for a 1990s FILM camera, but with the entire package it may be worth that much...I glanced at an Olympus on the shelf...$25 dollars... a Minolta $30 ...an older Pentax $10... A Canon Fb $15.  I looked at the entire camera package and decided to buy it so one of my daughters who was taking a digital photography class would have a FILM camera with a GOOD INSTRUCTION MANUAL.   I  pulled the camera bag which held all the accesories filters lens pouch etc. from beneath the camera in the display case, put the camera in it and set it on top of my 5 flashlights in the childs seat.  I turned to the trainee,  and said...I think I will buy this.   He was busy talking to another employee or a friend....and said to me,  I have to accompany you to the cash register.  Fine, I said, but I am not going to walk out with it... I am going directly to the cashier.  I then picked it up and placed it in the bottom of the cart and started toward the front.  I fully expected him to follow me to the cashier but he didnt...when I looked back he was still busy talking.

 

I arrived at checkstand #5 behind two other shoppers and patiently waited...and waited...and waited...and waited...and waited...and While I waited I reached down into the shopping cart and turned on the camera....the screen didnt light up as I had expected....oh shoot, its not backlit....Finally, Brittany the cashier said,  I AM WAITING FOR CHANGE FOR A 20. I looked around  to see if anyone was coming with the change...nope... s